


with pieces of broken hourglass

by Murf1307



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: A Veritable Forest of Pining, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fix-It, Hair Braiding, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 17:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16434104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: When you don't check the clock, you might just miss something big.





	with pieces of broken hourglass

**** Sephiroth doesn’t check the clock on his wrist very often.  The number had always been much too high for it to matter, after all.  Months, years away. He had time.

And besides, a soulmate would be a distraction.  Someone he would have to protect, and prioritize over others, over the orders he was given, even.  It would be better if they never met at all.

Genesis teases him about it, but Genesis has had Angeal practically since they were toddlers in Banora.  Genesis never had to  _ wait _ , and Angeal doesn’t need protection.

Sephiroth is certain he won’t be so lucky.

So for the most part, he ignores the clock on his wrist, mostly wearing long sleeves and cuff bracelets to cover it over.  Sometimes, he glances at it in the shower, as if to confirm he has a lot of time left to wait.

Often, he doesn’t notice the numbers ticking down.

 

* * *

 

Zack Fair has been watching his clock for his  _ whole life _ , it seems.  It’s a tangible reminder that somewhere out there, someone is waiting for him.  He’s always been kind of a romantic at heart, and he  _ wants _ to meet his soulmate in part so he has somewhere to  _ put  _ all of these feelings.

He runs away to join SOLDIER because he realizes that staying in Gongaga won’t bring him any closer to this person, but SOLDIERs travel all over.

As he travels toward Midgar, he’s excited to see the clock tick down by  _ years _ , instead of by seconds.  

They must be here, and he can’t wait.

 

* * *

 

 

When Sephiroth’s clock runs down, he doesn’t know it.  He doesn’t realize that the young SOLDIER whose eyes he met briefly in a crowd, as he gave a platoon orders, is his soulmate.  He doesn’t notice his wrist reads zero for  _ weeks _ afterwards.

He ties a cuff a little tighter, and tries not to think about the odd little feeling it gives him, to know they’ve met, but that he’ll never know who they are.

Genesis notices, because of course he does.

“So, time finally ran out on you, hm?” He asks, tucking his fingertips under the cuff and pulling it forward.  

Sephiroth allows it, if only because he knows Genesis will be absolutely  _ insufferable _ otherwise.  “At some point, yes,” he says, because that’s all he really knows.

“You don’t know  _ who? _ ” Genesis squawks, aghast.

“It’s nothing.  I don’t need them.  It’s too much of a weakness, especially if they’re a civilian.”

Genesis shakes his head, face falling just a little.  As if he feels  _ sorry _ for Sephiroth.

That’s the worst part of it, he thinks.  The  _ pity. _

Not the slow-growing unease in his stomach, not the sensation that something isn’t  _ quite right _ .  He knows better than to pay those feelings any attention, after all.

He was raised to be a weapon.

And weapons don’t fall in love.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s  _ Sephiroth. _  His soulmate is  _ Sephiroth _ . 

Zack almost doesn’t believe it at first, but he made  _ eye contact _ with him during that briefing, and ten minutes later, when Zack checked his clock, it read zero.  He hasn’t locked eyes with anyone new in weeks, so Sephiroth is the only one it can be.

He exhales, trying to think this through, absently doing squats.  

Any number of girls, he knows, would  _ kill _ to be Sephiroth’s soulmate — or to even warm the man’s bed for a night.  He's gorgeous, and heroic, and probably the most widely adored of the three Firsts.  A lot of girls wouldn't mind not getting to keep him if they could just have him for a little while.

Zack keeps doing squats, keeping his breathing deep and steady.  He doesn’t  _ know  _ Sephiroth.  He’s just a no-name Second who’s always wanted to be a hero.  

What could he possibly have to offer  _ Sephiroth _ ?

 

* * *

 

Sephiroth keeps thinking about his soulmate.  The idea that they’re out there, somewhere in Midgar — most likely, anyway — rouses his curiosity.

Who are they?  Is it one of those women who stare at him when he leaves the Shinra complex?  Is it a visiting official from another town with a Mako reactor? Gods forbid, is it a  _ Turk? _  He has no idea.  Not a single, solitary clue.

He doubts it’s someone in SOLDIER.  If he’s lucky, it’s someone with as little interest in having a soulmate as him.  

He finds himself watching Genesis and Angeal a little more.  He’s never noticed the subtle pull at the corner of Angeal’s mouth when Genesis is being dramatic, or the genuine softness with which he looks at Genesis when the latter is quoting  _ Loveless. _

And Genesis only really  _ relaxes _ when his head is in Angeal’s lap, Angeal’s fingers running through his hair.

Here on the front lines of the Wutai War, seeing them so  _ comfortable _ wakes something almost lonely in Sephiroth’s chest.

Ruthlessly, he crushes the feeling down.

 

* * *

 

Zack decides that, ironically, he doesn't have to do anything he wasn't already planning on doing.  Chasing his dream — becoming a hero — will bring him closer to Sephiroth by  _ default. _

So, he just starts working harder.  Training until he can barely move in between missions, and pushing himself as much as he can while on them.  If he gets noticed, maybe, next time, it won't just be eye contact. Maybe he’ll actually get to  _ speak  _ to Sephiroth, too.

Kunsel notices, because he's a good friend.  Not the clock — Zack’s kept it covered since it hit zero — but the change in his routines.

“You know, you're gonna run yourself down if you keep burning the candle at both ends,” he says one day, watching Zack do a set of push-ups in one of the lounges.  “Why are you suddenly hustling so much?”

“Wanna...make...First,” he says, over the course of three repetitions.

Kunsel cocks his head to the side.  “Yeah, you've always wanted that. But  _ something’s  _ changed.” He watches Zack, and Zack almost squirms under his measuring gaze.

“...You found your soulmate,” Kunsel concludes.  “And you want to impress her.”

Zack stops doing push-ups and sits, cross-legged, on the floor.  “Him, not her.”

“Oh, shit.” Kunsel blinks, leaning back a little.  “Well, that’s definitely something. Do you like him?”

“Don't really know him, yet.  So.”

Kunsel nods.  “If anybody gives the two of you shit for it, let me know.  I'll kick a few asses for you, man.”

“Thanks.”  Zack exhales.  “Your clock still running?”

“Yeah.  Couple years left, last I checked.”

Part of Zack can’t help but think he’s lucky.

 

* * *

 

“They’re giving Angeal a Second,” Genesis says, leaning over where Sephiroth is sitting and looping his arms loosely around him from behind.  

Sephiroth tenses for a moment, then forces himself to relax.  It’s just Genesis.

Genesis doesn’t seem to be looking for a reaction just yet.  “Apparently, this Second shows a lot of promise. And since Angeal is the most by-the-books of the three of us, Lazard and the higher-ups want Angeal to give him special training.”

“Does this mean you’ll be in my hair?” Sephiroth asks flatly.  

Genesis laughs.  “Someone has to be — otherwise, you’ll wind up slicing it off with Masamune on accident.”

“I’ve been fighting with Masamune since I was thirteen.  I think I can handle it.” Sephiroth turns his head, catching Genesis out of the corner of his eye.  “Besides, I seem to remember you dramatically cutting  _ your _ hair short on  _ purpose _ with  _ your _ sword three years ago.”

“Not all of us are blessed with hair like yours, which is somehow never tangled or dirty.”  Genesis kisses his cheek. “But, fair enough.”

Sephiroth smirks, just a tiny bit.  

“Now, are you  _ still _ sure you don’t want your soulmate?” Genesis asks.

The smirk drops off of Sephiroth’s face in record time.  “I’m sure. Whoever they are, we’re both better off apart.”

“You know exactly what I think about that, Sephiroth.”

“You’ve always had Angeal.  You have no idea how it works for anyone else.”  Sephiroth leans forward, breaking Genesis’s hold.  He stands up, turning around. “And I’ve decided that I can’t spend time worrying about their safety when I need to be doing my job.”

“You’re  _ scared _ ,” Genesis accuses, frowning thunderously. 

Privately, Sephiroth has to admit he’s right.  He  _ is _ afraid.  He’s spent so long essentially alone, but for Genesis and Angeal, and Genesis and Angeal, of course, are a matched set.  He is, ultimately, the third wheel.

He’s  _ liked _ remaining guarded, separate from other people.  His soulmate threatens that. 

“You have no right to say that.”  This time, the flat tone of his voice hides no affection.  He stalks out of the room, into the halls of the SOLDIER floor of the Shinra Main Building.  

By the time he’s back to his room in the barracks, he’s forgotten all about Angeal’s new Second.

 

* * *

 

It’s about three months into training with Angeal that Zack screws up.  He’s in a training session, and at the end, when they come out of the virtual reality, Angeal asks him a question:

“Why are you in SOLDIER?”

Zack, exhausted from training, tells him.  “I — I’ve always wanted to be a hero. And, since SOLDIER operatives travel so much, I thought being in SOLDIER gave me a better shot at finding my soulmate.”

Angeal nods.  “Is that why you train so hard?”

“Yeah.  I...I need to become a hero.  My soulmate…he deserves that.”  For a moment, he forgets that he’s talking to someone who  _ knows _ Sephiroth.

“So you know him?” Angeal asks, gently but brooking no argument.

Zack looks away.  “Not...Not exactly.  We’ve made eye contact, but we’ve never really  _ met _ .”

Angeal looks at him, his gaze measuring.  “But you’re sure you know who he is?”

“Dead sure.  I looked at my clock pretty much constantly before it hit zero.”  He exhales. “And it’s not like I meet a lot of new people around here.”

“I see.  Why haven’t you approached him?”  

Why Angeal is prodding so much?  Zack has no idea, but it’s not suspicious enough to him not to answer honestly:

“Because it’s Sephiroth, okay?  He made eye contact with me when he was giving orders for a mission, and then my clock was at zero.”  He turns away from Angeal. “He hasn’t said anything, or looked for me, so I won’t either.”

Angeal stands there for a long moment, and then nods.  “I see.”

“So I gotta make First.”  Zack sighs. “I know it’s dumb.  But I need this.”

He needs to feel like he can measure up.  Right now, he feels like he doesn’t, and that Sephiroth, if he knows, has simply passed him over, judged him and found him wanting somehow.

And he’s gotta fix that, first and foremost.

 

* * *

 

Genesis is  _ plotting _ something.  Sephiroth can sense the man’s excitement crackling in the air like Thunder materia, and it is quite unsettling.  

It’s not that there’s anything  _ wrong _ with Genesis plotting or planning something, in theory.  It’s just that he tends to come up with schemes and plans that end in a reprimand from Lazard, and given Angeal has that Second he’s mentoring, now, Sephiroth wonders if it has anything to do with that.

He tries not to think about any of it, tries to ignore everything but the war and his work, but of course, that’s not enough.

“Sephiroth, my dear?” Genesis crows, almost gently, one day as he walks into the lounge they share.  “Can you do me a favor?”

“What kind of favor?” Sephiroth cocks an eyebrow at him.

Genesis grins.  “Well, Angeal and I made reservations for dinner tonight, but Lazard is sending the two of us to Wutai for a mission.  Would you mind going out to dinner for us, so it doesn't go to waste?”

Sephiroth  _ knows  _ there's more to this.  There's always more to anything Genesis says and does; only years of close association have rendered him at all understandable.  But he hasn't been out of the complex in a while, and while Genesis has expensive tastes, his taste in  _ food _ is at least good.  He sighs. “Fine. Am I going to be alone?”

“No, Angeal is sending his puppy.” Genesis shrugs a little.  “Apparently he doesn't get out much, either.”

“Puppy?” It takes Sephiroth a moment to realize that Genesis probably means Angeal’s Second — whose name Sephiroth can't remember, though someone probably told him.

Genesis nods.  “Yes. He's a little younger than us, but according to Angeal, he's good company.”

“All right.”  He still doesn’t know what this is really about, but he’ll deal with it.  “But it’s on your dime.”

“Naturally.”  Genesis’s smirk is a clear indicator of one thing:

Sephiroth has no idea what he’s getting himself into.

 

* * *

 

Zack spends about three hours trying to decide what to wear.  He knows this isn’t a date; he’s not even sure if Sephiroth knows they’re soulmates, much less that he’s the one who’ll be going to dinner with him.

But still.  He has to put his best foot forward.

Angeal had suggested that he wear something nice, and told him not to worry about how much dinner would cost; Genesis would be footing the bill.

So, Zack takes a  _ long time _ to figure out what he’s wearing.  He doesn’t spend a lot of time in civilian clothes, honestly, even when he leaves the complex, but a nice restaurant is probably not somewhere to wear a SOLDIER 2nd Class uniform.

Ultimately, he decides on something simple; a button-down shirt in dark purple and black jeans — his only non-uniform pants, actually.  He wears a couple of bangles on his right wrist and has a Fire materia in his back pocket, just in case. It just...feels  _ weird  _ to walk around unarmed, that’s all.

Angeal said that he should meet Sephiroth at the restaurant, so he goes alone, a little early, and waits outside. 

It’s not long after he gets there that a car pulls up, long and sleek and black with silver detailing.  Zack’s not really a car guy, but he’s pretty sure he knows exactly who’s inside, and his stomach swoops in nervousness.

The back driver’s side door opens, and Sephiroth emerges, and  _ shit. _

Zack is  _ so screwed. _

Sephiroth is just as beautiful in civilian clothes as he is in his uniform.  He’s wearing a button-down shirt as well, but his is in a slightly different shade of grey than his long, silvery hair, and a black vest over it.  A short, narrow sword hangs at his waist, and Zack is suddenly a little relieved that he’s not the only one who didn’t show up unarmed.

Zack takes a deep breath that hopefully, Sephiroth doesn’t see, and approaches the man.  He is  _ very _ tall.

“Uh, hi,” Zack says, trying not to sound breathless.  “Angeal told me I should wait for you out here.”

Sephiroth looks at him and is silent for a long moment.  “You’re Zack Fair, correct?” He nods. “Genesis mentioned you looked like Angeal.  I see the resemblance.”

Zack flushes.  “Uh, yeah, I guess.  Um, should we go inside now?”

“We’re both a little early.”  Sephiroth doesn’t seem especially comfortable, and Zack doesn’t know which reason of several is the one for this.  “Though I doubt the table won’t be ready.”

“Okay.”  Zack takes a step toward the door of the restaurant, not entirely sure how to read Sephiroth.  “Shall we?”

Sephiroth nods.  “Yes.” He draws level with Zack in a sweeping movement, utterly graceful in a way that Zack knows he has never been.  

Great, he’s going to be feeling awkward  _ all night _ , at this rate.

 

* * *

 

Sephiroth really has no idea how to interact with people.

He can avoid this, most of the time.  He’s learned how to interact inside the world of Shinra and SOLDIER; he’s grown up around it his whole life.  He doesn’t have to do much talking, in that world — mostly, giving and taking orders.

And with Angeal and Genesis, well, years and years of close association mean that they’ve all learned how each other tick.

But social interactions with people besides Genesis and Angeal?

He knows  _ nothing. _

Once they’re seated — at a table small enough that their knees are almost touching — Sephiroth can’t even surreptitiously avoid eye contact.  

Zack Fair’s eyes are abnormally blue, even for a SOLDIER.  Sephiroth wonders how long he’s been in the program; most SOLDIERs’ eyes lose some of the glow within a year or so, and most of it is gone within three.  

“So, uh, have you been here before?” Zack asks, apparently just as awkward as Sephiroth feels.

“Yes,” he says.  “Genesis insisted I join him and Angeal for his birthday earlier in the year.”  It’s possibly the longest sentence he’s spoken to someone socially in a long time, and he’s not sure if he sounds awkward or not.

Zack nods.  “Do you have any suggestions?  I’m...not from around here, so most of this stuff...no idea what a lot of it even is.”

Sephiroth looks down at the menu.  A steak would probably suffice, he thinks.  “Filet mignon is always a safe bet,” he says.  “Where are you from?”

“Gongaga,” Zack says, relaxing a little.  “Really backwater, down south.” He takes a sip from his complimentary glass of water.  “Only thing to put it on the map at all is —“

“The Mako reactor,” Sephiroth finishes, nodding.

Zack laughs, just a little.  “Yeah. So, about as far from Midgar as you could imagine, really.”

Sephiroth nods again.  “I grew up within Shinra, but Angeal and Genesis are from Banora.  My understanding is that it is a very small town as well.”

“Within Shinra?” Zack leans forward, just a little.  “Like, your parents worked for Shinra, or…?”

“I...never knew my biological parents.  For the most part, I was raised communally by the Science Department.  Professor Gast, his successor...the rest of the Department.” Sephiroth has his suspicions about Hojo, but he won’t voice them.  He’s already told Zack more than he’s ever told anyone outside Genesis and Angeal.

Zack cocks his head to the side.  “Wow. No wonder you got famous in SOLDIER so young.”

Sephiroth has no idea how to take that.

 

* * *

 

 

Zack’s got no idea how to read Sephiroth.  He’s pretty sure the conversation is going well, and then he makes that  _ stupid _ comment about SOLDIER, and now Sephiroth is being very, very quiet, and just  _ looking _ at him.

Shit.  He’s gone and screwed this up already.

He’s rescued, for the moment, by the waiter arriving.  He’s tall and slender, his blonde hair slicked back into a ponytail.  Exactly the kind of guy Zack would’ve been into, before all of this.

“Would you like to begin with something to drink?”

Zack has no idea what to order.  He’s not even sure he’s  _ allowed _ to order what he first thinks to; he doesn’t remember what the legal drinking age in Midgar is, and doesn’t know if he’ll get carded anyway.

“A bottle of Cabernet Costa del Sol, please,” Sephiroth says, smoothly.  “And two wineglasses, thank you.”

Thank Shiva, he doesn’t have to say anything.  Instead, he takes the opportunity to look at the menu.  There’s steak, like Sephiroth said, and fish, and some kind of pasta, but Zack doesn’t speak the language that half the menu is written in.

His eyes land on what’s probably the appetizer menu, and he sees River Chocobo Tartare, which looks like it  _ might _ be good.  He looks up at Sephiroth, who, apparently, has been sedately watching him this whole time.  “Uh. Do you think you might wanna split an appetizer?”

“What were you thinking?”  Sephiroth cocks his head, just a tiny bit.

“Uh, there’s River Chocobo tartare.  That looks like it might be good.” Zack shrugs a little.  “Like I said, I don’t know what half this stuff is.”

Sephiroth lets out the ghost of a smirk.  “Tartare means essentially raw. I’ve had it, but I’m told that some people are disgusted by the concept.”  

“Oh.  Uh. Well, I can’t say I’d normally eat River Chocobo that way,” he admits, flushing a little in embarrassment.  “But it might be worth a shot?” He doesn’t want to look like a coward in front of Sephiroth about  _ food _ , after all.

“If you don’t want it, don’t order it,” Sephiroth says, and there’s that ghost of a smirk again, at the corner of his mouth.  “It’s not like we’re paying for it, though.”

Zack nods.  “Yeah. Angeal said Genesis was?”

“Yes.”  Sephiroth nods, scanning the menu.  “Hmn. Do you enjoy fish?”

“Yeah,” Zack says.  “We’re pretty inland, but there’s some good freshwater fish in Gongaga.”

Sephiroth nods again.  “You might enjoy caviar, then.  It’s fish eggs. An interesting texture, and salty.”

Zack considers the idea, and then nods.  “Yeah. If you wanna get that, I’ll definitely try it.”  He’ll probably like it, and if he doesn’t, well, he can probably push through anyway.  He’s not mildly nauseous at the idea, the way he is about tartare.

And besides, Sephiroth looks like he might be into this stuff.  It’s worth a shot just for that, right?

 

* * *

 

 

They order the caviar when the waiter returns with the wine.

Sephiroth has never been a gambling man; he prefers to stick with things he knows, with things and people he’s sure of.  But, tonight, he doesn’t really have that option. So he ordered the red wine Angeal likes, and his own preferred appetizer.

Hopefully, Zack will like one or both, and things may get less awkward.

“I apologize,” he says, once the waiter leaves, “if I seem...reticent.  Genesis would say I don’t get out much, and I suppose that’s true.”

Zack smiles at him, shaking his head.  “Nah, man, it’s fine. I’m pretty awkward, too.  Like, you already know you’re kind of a legend, so this is pretty weird for me.”  He scratches the back of his neck. “But I don’t think it’s bad, so far, you know?”

Sephiroth nods.  “Agreed.” He settles a little.  At least Zack is willing to admit to the awkwardness of this dinner, which is more than many would do.

Zack chuckles a little.  “Anyway, what are you gonna order for dinner?” 

“I’m not sure yet.”  Sephiroth scans the menu again.  “I’m considering the surf and turf — I enjoy lobster, and I remember Angeal saying the steak was quite good.”

“That does sound good.  I’ve never had lobster.”  Zack sounds genuinely interested.

“If you’d like,” Sephiroth ventures, “I can give you a piece of mine when it arrives?”  The end of the sentence upturns like a question; a rarity for him, but then, this whole situation is fundamentally unusual.

Zack smiles at him again.  “Yeah, sounds good.”

Sephiroth isn’t expecting it, but, instinctively, he smiles back.

 

* * *

 

By the end of dinner, Zack is practically walking on air.  

Sephiroth isn’t necessarily easy to talk to, as restrained as he is, but there’s these...hints...of the person underneath, and it’s incredibly cool to see when he can tease one to the surface.

As they pay the bill with Genesis’s credit card, Zack asks the waiter if they’re allowed to take the bottle of wine with them when they leave.

The waiter is about to say something to the effect of “no,” until Sephiroth pins him with a look that  _ isn’t even overtly threatening. _  It works like a charm, and as they walk out of the restaurant, Zack is marveling.

“Did you seriously scare that guy into letting us take this?”  Zack grins at Sephiroth. “Man, you are way more fun than advertised.”

Sephiroth makes a small smile back, and Zack’s even gladder.  Sephiroth doesn’t seem like the kind of person who smiles all that often, and so that makes every smile Zack does worm out of him feel sweeter.

“I — I must say, I’ve enjoyed myself,” Sephiroth confesses — because that’s how he says it, like it’s something to confess.

“Do you wanna stay out a little later?  There’s this ice-cream place in Sector Seven that should still be open by the time we get there.”  He hasn’t really ventured under the Plate, but above it, every Sector he’s visited has been pretty nice.

Sephiroth nods.  “Yes. Should we take the train system?”

“You might get people looking at you,” Zack warns.  “I mean, you’re not exactly inconspicuous.” 

“I don’t mind.  As long as they don’t do more than look.”  It takes Zack a moment to realize that that is a  _ joke _ , Sephiroth just made a  _ joke _ at him.

He has to laugh.  “Okay, okay, let’s find the station, then.”

This really  _ is _ better than he’d hoped it would be.

 

* * *

 

For Sephiroth, there is a certain pleasure in being  _ seen. _  It’s very different, he thinks, from being  _ shown _ , the way Shinra has  _ shown _ him throughout his career, especially before Genesis and Angeal came into his life.

Being  _ shown _ is giving orders, making public broadcast appearances, having his photo taken by journalists covering the Wutai War.

Being  _ seen _ is more like this; walking through Midgar, dressed as he pleases, with someone he’s beginning to like, and  _ liking _ the looks it gets him.  He likes the gasp one woman makes as they pass, recognizing him.  

Of  _ course _ people recognize him; he takes no pains to hide himself.  His hair is what it is, sweeping behind him; his face is on signage all over the city.

Zack looks at him, too, but now the look is different; less awe and awkwardness now, and more recognition, more understanding, more…

More  _ joy. _

On the train, they both lean on the same pole, and Zack looks up at him with a mischievous grin and those eerie-bright eyes.  It is a different kind of being seen.

Sephiroth finds he likes it better, too.

 

* * *

 

When they get to Sector Seven, Zack leads Sephiroth to the ice cream shop.  It’s pretty close to the station, but it’s still a weird feeling, leading  _ Sephiroth  _ somewhere.

“So, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” he asks, pseudo-casual.

Sephiroth pauses, as if no one’s ever asked him that question before.  “...You know, I’ve never had it,” he admits.

“Seriously?  Shit, do you think Genesis would care if we bought some of everything?” Zack stops where he’s standing.  “You gotta try like, all of them eventually.”

It doesn’t occur to him to ask why Sephiroth hasn’t had ice cream before, mostly because he’s too distracted by  _ rectifying  _ that.  He scratches his chin, thinking.  “I think you’d probably like something smooth, right?  Like, without any  _ stuff  _ in it?”

“Stuff?”

“Like, pieces of fruit, or chocolate, or nuts or whatever.  Stuff. A lot of flavors have stuff.” Zack grins. “Oh man, this is gonna be great.”

He speeds up again, and, absently, winds up tugging on Sephiroth’s sleeve as he leads him to the door of the ice cream shop.  It’s not until they’ve stopped and he’s let go that he realizes he's done it, either, and he fights down a blush.

Sephiroth seems a little surprised, but not in a bad way.  As they go inside, Sephiroth asks him, “What’s  _ your _ favorite?  Perhaps we should start with that.”

“Trusting my taste, huh?” he teases, and  _ holy shit _ , he’s  _ teasing Sephiroth,  _ when did that become an option?  “I’m a fan of like, the traditional flavors.  People say vanilla’s boring, but sometimes boring can be good.  If you like fruit, I think you might like strawberry, though.”

Sephiroth smiles, just a little, and it warms Zack’s chest.

They go up to the counter together, and the girl behind the counter stares at Sephiroth for a moment, clearly shocked to see him at nine o’clock on a Tuesday, in civilian clothes, in Sector Seven.  Zack totally gets the feeling.

“Two strawberry cones, please,” Zack asks, giving her his most charming smile.  She nods, forcibly removing her gaze from Sephiroth, and starts putting together the two cones.

When she's done and they have their ice cream, Zack can't help but chuckle a little at the bemused way Sephiroth regards his cone, clearly not sure how to eat it. 

“You lick it,” he prompts, and then starts in on his own.

“That seems...inefficient,” Sephiroth says, but, experimentally, he licks the ice cream cone.  He pauses for a moment, and then does it again.

“D’you like it?”

Sephiroth nods, just a little.  “Yes. I do.”

Zack grins at him.  “Awesome.” 

Part of him has completely forgotten to be nervous about interacting with his soulmate, and the next words out of his mouth are, “We should do this again sometime.”

He's surprised, just a little, when Sephiroth pauses for a moment and then nods.  “Yes. I'd like that.”

It feels, a little inexplicably, like a victory.

 

* * *

 

_ Dear Mom and Dad: _

_ So, I have some big news: _

_ I found my soulmate.  He’s, well, first of all, he’s a he, which wasn't  _ **_too_ ** _ much of a surprise. _

_ But I like him.  He's smart, and he's in SOLDIER, too, so we have stuff in common.  I think we’re getting to be friends. It's a little weird, because I don't think he knows we’re soulmates. _

_ I wouldn't know how to bring it up, anyway, so for now, I'm just glad to spend time with him.  He’s really funny sometimes, and really quiet most of the time. I don't think he has a lot of friends, so I’m glad I at least get to be one. _

_ Hope everything’s good back home!  I'll be calling next week for Mom’s birthday, so I'm looking forward to that!  Give everyone my love. _

_ — Zack. _

 

* * *

 

“You made a friend!” Genesis accuses, the third time he catches Sephiroth checking his phone while they wait for their next mission.  He sounds delighted.

Sephiroth raises an eyebrow and tries to crush a swell of defensiveness that rises in him at the accusation.  “Is that really so strange?”

“No,” Genesis concedes, “But it’s rare enough that I can be excited when it happens, I think.”  He shifts and tries to look over Sephiroth’s shoulder, to try and catch whatever’s on the screen.

Nothing, yet, and while Sephiroth tries not to  _ expect _ mail from Zack, they have been writing to each other for a few days now.

Mostly it's just banal stuff, Zack telling stories about his friends and Sephiroth responding with dry descriptions of his own surroundings.  But he  _ likes _ it.  He likes having something not directly related to work or missions, something he doesn't  _ need  _ to share.

The phone dings, and sure enough, the mail notification is from Zack.

Genesis makes this happy squawking sound when he sees it.  “I  _ knew  _ you would like him!” he says, triumphantly.  “Angeal talks about that puppy quite often.”

Sephiroth flushes, a little self-conscious.  “I enjoyed his company,” he replies, not willing to open the mail in front of Genesis.

“I'm so glad,” Genesis says, genuinely.  

“...The two of you didn't really have a mission,” Sephiroth surmises.

“Well, not until after I convinced you to go,” he admits.  “But you needed a night out on the town, and a friend who isn't, you know.   _ Attached. _ ”

Sephiroth shrugs.  “Then I suppose I should thank you.”

He's just not sure why something about that explanation sits  _ wrong  _ in his gut.

 

* * *

 

“He's perfect,” Zack says, despairingly, to Kunsel, halfway through a set of situps.

“The mysterious soulmate?” Kunsel asks, sounding amused.

Zack nods.  “Yeah. Shit, Kunsel, he's...we're not even dating yet, but he's just so...he's really funny, in this dry way, and when he smiles, I just...short circuit, or something.”

“And you guys are taking it slow?”

“Yeah.” He hates fibbing about it to Kunsel, but he can't just start  _ telling  _ people Sephiroth is his soulmate.  Not when  _ Sephiroth  _ might not even know.  “I mean, we just met. We should get to know each other first, right?”

Kunsel nods.  “Yeah, makes sense.”

Zack finishes his set, and his phone rings as if on cue.  He answers. “Hello?”

“Zack.” It's Sephiroth.  “Can I — can you come by the Firsts’ quarters?  Something's happened.”

Sephiroth sounds upset, and Zack immediately gets up.  “Yeah, of course. Are you okay?” He wants to be prepared for what he's going to find when he gets there, after all.

“Yes, I'm fine.  I just...something's happened.”

“Okay.  I'll be there in a minute, don't worry.” Zack doesn't know why Sephiroth wants him there, but he'll come when called when it's his gods-damned soulmate, that's for sure.

“Thank you.” Sephiroth hangs up, and Zack puts his phone away.

Kunsel is watching him.  “Gotta go?”

“Yeah, sorry.  I'll — probably be back later tonight.” He nods at Kunsel and heads for the Firsts’ quarters.

When he gets there, he finds Sephiroth waiting just outside the door, seemingly lost in thought.  He doesn't notice Zack's approach at first, and that's not a good sign. 

“Hey.  Sephiroth?” he asks, a little awkwardly.

“I hurt Genesis in training,” he says, the words seemingly falling out of his mouth automatically.  “And the wound isn't...it's not healing correctly.”

Zack steps a little closer, frowning.  “It was an accident, right?”

“Of course,” Sephiroth says, defensive.  “And besides, we're supposed to heal quickly, not heal  _ wrong. _ ”

“Okay,” Zack accepts.  “Do you...want some company?”

Sephiroth pauses for a moment, then nods.  “Yes. Angeal is — helping Genesis, so I don't...I don't really have anywhere to turn.”

Zack nods.  “Okay. Do you wanna do something, or just...hang out?”

Part of him is just stunned that Sephiroth turned to him for  _ comfort _ .  He isn't dumb enough to think Sephiroth wouldn't  _ need  _ comfort in a situation like this, but it's still kind of incredible that Sephiroth would turn to him for anything but fun stuff.

Sephiroth takes a breath.  “If we could just...sit? I would appreciate that.”

“Yeah, sure.  Out here, or…?”

“Please, come in,” Sephiroth says, opening the door behind him and stepping back.  He looks uncertain, vulnerable, and Zack steps forward almost before Sephiroth speaks.

Inside Sephiroth's quarters, Zack finds that they're...somewhat devoid of personality.  Aside from Sephiroth's uniforms hanging in the open closet, it doesn't really look like anybody  _ lives  _ here.  Zack is struck, like he sometimes is, with the realization that Sephiroth was basically raised to be a SOLDIER.

It makes his heart hurt, a little.

“So, um.  Do you wanna just talk, or…?” Zack has no idea where to go from here.

Sephiroth bites his lip.  “In your mails, you...you tell me things.” 

That's when Zack gets it, and he grins a little.  “Yeah, okay. So, Kunsel, you remember Kunsel.. “

He descends into a story about Kunsel and how he's found his soulmate, pretty much tripping over her and falling on his face in a fountain as a result.  It’s a good one, and he hadn’t told Sephiroth about it yet.

It pulls a little smile out of Sephiroth, and Zack counts that as a victory.

 

* * *

 

This  _ can't  _ be happening.

His chest hurts like he's been kicked there by a Chocobo, rising from his bedroll to discover his world in flames, both literally and figuratively.

Genesis has set the forest around them aflame.  He holds a Banora White in his hand (where did he get one, all the way in Wutai?), and he turns at Sephiroth's approach.  “My dear, dear Sephiroth,” he says, and his voice is sharp with bitterness. “Don't try to stop me. For both our sakes.”

“Genesis, what  _ is  _ this?!” he asks.

“You'll see very soon, my friend.  All will be revealed in its time, and  _ this  _ story will be complete.”

Sephiroth draws Masamune.  “We have a duty. If you intend to shirk or sabotage that duty, I cannot just stand aside.” As much as such a battle would hurt him, between Genesis's strength as the match of his own, and the ache of lost friendship.

“You must,” Genesis insists.  “For your own sake and the sake of Angeal's  _ puppy _ .  I won't kill you today.”

Then, he draws his sword, and the battle is joined, and Sephiroth doesn't have a chance to ask him what  _ that  _ is intended to mean.

 

* * *

 

Zack doesn't expect phone calls from Sephiroth.  They either find each other, or exchange mails, and Zack is fine with that; they're both very busy people, and the Wutai War is, everyone says, almost over.  Sephiroth doesn't have  _ time  _ for phone calls.

So it's startling to hear Sephiroth's voice on the other end of the line.  “Zack?”

He sounds...exhausted.  That's the best word, he thinks.

“Seph?” he echoes, immediately worried.  “What's wrong? Where are you? Are you okay?”

Sephiroth lets out this tiny, relieved laugh.  “I — it's — it's good to hear your voice.” He still sounds tired, and upset, but as though Zack is helping.  “Are you in Midgar?”

“Yeah, I just got back from a mission with Angeal.  You and Genesis were in Wutai, right?”

Sephiroth makes another noise, one that sounds pained.  “Genesis is...Genesis  _ left. _ ” He takes a ragged breath.  “He took a third of our forces and set the forest ablaze while I was sleeping.”

Holy shit.  “Are you okay?”

“I have injuries,” Sephiroth says dismissively.  “But — Angeal is also in Midgar?”

“Yeah.  I literally just got back.  He's here. Why do you ask?”

Sephiroth takes a deep breath.  “Angeal and Genesis are soulmates.  I feared — I feared this wasn't Genesis's madness alone.”

“Shit,” Zack says, quietly.  “You want me to go get him, so you two can talk?  He needs to know, especially if Genesis — do you think Angeal knew?” He can't imagine that.  Angeal would never have been okay with something like this.

“I don't know.  I. It has been a very long day.” Again, the exhaustion creeps into his voice.  “Thank you, Zack.”

“Get some rest?  I can have Angeal call you in the morning.” He wishes he was there, wishes he could comfort Sephiroth in a moment like this, but he's a long way away.  “And...get home safe, okay? Especially if you're hurt.”

Sephiroth laughs again, very softly.  “Will you be in Midgar long?”

“Yeah, I'll see you when you get home.  Just...take care, okay?” Zack cares more about that than anything else.  “And...come see me, maybe? When you have a little time.”

It feels selfish to ask.  The world needs Sephiroth, and as much as Zack needs him, too, he knows the world is more important.

“Please.  I...I would like that very much.” Sephiroth's voice is soft and pensive, like he wants to fall asleep.  “I need...I need a friend, and I cannot go to Angeal with my...my pain. Not when his will be so much greater than mine.”

“Yeah.  Of course.  Anything you need, okay?” Zack wishes he could be there already.  “I'll be here when you get back.”

“Thank you.  I'll — I'll be back soon.” 

“Come home safe.”

When they hang up, Zack goes to find Angeal, turning everything over in his head.

All he knows is that their lives won't ever be the same.

 

* * *

 

Sephiroth speaks to Angeal first.

“Zack said — Zack said Genesis...left?” Angeal sounds like he's having trouble processing that, and Sephiroth understands completely.

He nods.  “Yes. I don't understand it, but he left me with this.”

He pulls his coat open to show his chest and side, where a massive gash is healing, but will certainly scar.  “I tried to stop him, but he would not be stopped, not like this.”

Angeal nods, dumbstruck for perhaps the first time in all the span of Sephiroth's knowing him.  Angeal is quieter than Genesis, but Sephiroth has never seen him  _ at a loss  _ for words.  The two of them had complemented each other as soulmates were supposed to, as Sephiroth understands the idea, and Genesis had never been able to play to a silent crowd.

Eventually, he speaks: “I — I didn't think he would actually leave like that.  Not until the war was over.”

“He's been planning this?  For how long?” Sephiroth cannot believe Angeal has, arguably, betrayed them all as well.  If he knew, and said nothing!

Angeal sighs.  “Not... _ planning _ .  Not that overtly.  He would just...talk about wanting answers, wanting a cure for what was happening to him since the training accident.  He doesn't think Shinra is telling us the truth.”

Sephiroth is reeling internally.  It's not that he's ever believed that Shinra tells them everything — he suspects that Hojo is his father, after all, but no one has ever said so, for example — but Genesis's accusations are a different kind of lying entirely.  If Genesis is right, well…

If Genesis is right, the whole enterprise is rotten at its core.

“He thinks they know why he's not healing?” Sephiroth asks, for clarification.  “And they either won't or... can't...fix the underlying problem?”

Angeal nods.  “He...he's needed two transfusions since the one you offered yourself for,” he admits, looking away.  “We, we didn't want you to worry, or feel guilty, just because of the accident. You didn't do anything wrong, after all.”

“Shiva, Angeal, you should have said  _ something!  _ Genesis — he.  He may have scarred me, but he wasn't at his best.”  He got the drop on him, really, because he was more  _ willing  _ than Sephiroth is to hurt someone he cared about.  “He isn't well, is he? And getting worse, I gather, given how desperately he fought.”

Angeal flinches.  “I'm sorry. And he would be, too, in his right mind.”

Sephiroth exhales.  “I know. I'm sorry, it's just...this is very...difficult, for me.”

“I know,” Angeal says, and reaches out to hug Sephiroth.  It’s not a familiar thing for Angeal to do --  _ Genesis _ had always been the tactile, demonstrative one, out of the three of them.  

Sephiroth awkwardly hugs back.  “I. We will have to bring him home,” he murmurs.

“Yes,” Angeal agrees.  

Until then, at least they have each other.

 

* * *

 

Zack waits for Sephiroth outside the Firsts' quarters.  It still feels presumptuous, and transgressive, but this time, he  _ needs  _ to know how far from okay Sephiroth is.

When Sephiroth turns the corner and sees him, he stops, blinking in surprise for a moment.

“Hey,” Zack says, waving a little.  “I know I said for you to come see me, but I figured, if you're still hurt, it'd be better for you to just rest, so I came here instead.  Is that — are you cool with that?”

Sephiroth moves again, faster this time, and Zack is shocked to find himself wrapped in the circle of Sephiroth's arms.

He doesn't know what to do with his  _ hands. _

Carefully, he settles them on Sephiroth's hips.  “Do you wanna talk about it? We don't have to, but it...might help, you know?”

Sephiroth just holds him tighter.  “I...I don't know.”

Zack pulls away, staying close despite getting a little space so he can look up into Sephiroth's eyes.  He looks...vulnerable, again.

“Okay, so, we'll…we'll go inside, and you can lay down, take off your gear and stuff.  You've had a  _ really  _ shitty couple of days, yeah?” Carefully, he starts steering Sephiroth toward Sephiroth's room's door.  

Sephiroth nods, stiffly, and punches in his security code.  Once they're inside, he starts deconstructing that horrifically complicated apparatus of belts he wears, as well as taking off his jacket.  Zack almost doesn't notice the half-healed gash, but once he sees it, he can't help but stare.

He's never seen Sephiroth  _ hurt  _ before, not like this.

“Did…?” He trails off.

Because he knows the answer.  Only Genesis or Angeal would be strong and fast enough to leave Sephiroth with a wound Materia alone couldn't fix all the way.

“You should rest,” he says instead.  “That looks like it hurts.”

Sephiroth nods and sits down on his bed.  He looks lost, if Zack is being honest with himself.  Like the world has ended and he doesn't know what to do next.

Zack sits down next to him.  “Do you want me to stick around?  I can definitely do that.”

“Please,” Sephiroth murmurs.

“Okay.” Zack nods again.  “Are you gonna try and get some sleep?” 

Sephiroth pauses, seemingly considering the idea.  Then, he slumps a tiny bit, looking down. “I'd need to plait my hair.”

“Like, braid it?”

“Yes.” He sighs.  “I always plait it when I'm in Midgar.” He moves to get up.

Zack puts an arm out in front of Sephiroth to keep him from getting up.  “Don't — where do you, um, where do you keep your hair stuff?”

“On top of the dresser,” Sephiroth says, exhaling.

Zack gets up and retrieves a pie of hair ties and a comb.  “You shouldn't stretch that much, given your wound,” he says.  “But, um, if you'd like to, I'm definitely willing to help you braid it.”

It feels selfish to offer it.  After all, he'd get to put his hands in his soulmate's beautiful, beautiful hair, and he'd  _ like _ that, but this isn't the time to enjoy _ anything  _ about what's happening.  But he asks anyway, because Sephiroth really shouldn't be straining, and Zack will just...do his best to be businesslike about the act itself.

“I...thank you, yes, please,” Sephiroth says softly, and then he turns his back, shifting his hair so that it's all in reach, gleaming dully in the fluorescent lights.

Zack decides to start with combing it, and tries to remember how his mother combs her own hair at night.  

Start from the bottom.  He finds the ends of it, pooling it in his own lap just a little bit, and starts to comb.  Sephiroth's hair is beautiful, and almost completely free of tangles, despite the difficult couple of days he's had, and it takes less time than Zack thought it would for him to reach the crown of Sephiroth's head, passing the comb from root to ends of his hair.

“You said,” Zack says, softly, to try and coax Sephiroth out of his own head, “You said Angeal and Genesis are soulmates.”

“Yes.” Sephiroth exhales as Zack begins to divide his hair into sections.  “It is not...publicly acknowledged, but they've spoken about it to me in private.  Their clocks stopped for them when they were very young children in Banora. After that, they've always been...inseparable, really.”

He sounds lost.  Zack begins to braid.  “What about you?”

It's a gamble, but honestly, Zack  _ knows  _ Sephiroth, now, and Sephiroth isn't subtle.  It would have come up by now if Sephiroth knew they were soulmates.  So he asks, twisting hair into a kind-of-complicated pattern he'd woven into rope as a little kid.

“My soulmate is unknown to me,” Sephiroth says, his voice soft.  “And after this, I...I think I would prefer it that way.”

Zack nods.  “Yeah, I...I know who my soulmate is.  But...I can't have him.”

His chest aches, because the words are true.  Sephiroth doesn't know, doesn't want to know, doesn't  _ want  _ him.

Sephiroth twists a little, turning to look at him.  “Why can't you have him?”

Zack bites his lip.  “I...I don't wanna talk about that,” he says, honestly.  It hurts, to have Sephiroth ask that question, hurts to not be able to confess everything.

A long time ago, when Zack was still a kid in Gongaga, he'd always believed that finding his soulmate would mean finding his happily-ever-after.  Now, he knows better — the only happy soulmates he knows are Kunsel and his soulmate, Annie. Angeal is alone; Genesis has vanished; Sephiroth doesn't know and doesn't want to; and Zack is alone, too.

“Understood,” Sephiroth says, softly.

And Zack continues to braid, trying to lose the pain of the day in the repetitive patterns of the hair in his hands.

 

* * *

 

They see a lot of each other, over the course of the next month.  Missions that would have only required one First suddenly merit two, and where Angeal goes, for the most part, so does Zack.

One night, in Wutai, Angeal pulls Sephiroth aside.  

“He braided your hair, didn’t he?” Angeal asks, and Sephiroth’s not sure why that matters.  It’s true, of course — Sephiroth has asked Zack to braid his hair a few times since that first night, and he’s wearing those braids right now, a woven-together set of fishtails keeping his hair out of his face.

Sephiroth just isn’t sure why it  _ matters _ .

“He did.”  Sephiroth frowns.  “Is there a problem with that?”

Across the fire, Zack is grinning, over amid a small crowd of Seconds — he’s always like that, on group missions, drawing the attention of his peers.  People like Zack, and always have.

Sephiroth can’t imagine why Zack’s soulmate wouldn’t want someone like that.  

“People might talk,” Angeal says.  “Genesis told me your clock stopped.  His has, too.”

Sephiroth sighs.  “I know. He said...he said he couldn’t have his soulmate.  I don’t know why. And he knows I don’t know who mine is.”

“That said.  People might talk.  And it wasn’t...Shinra didn’t like it, much, when they found out about Genesis and I.”  Angeal looks away. “So. They might make assumptions. People might ask questions.”

“And I’ll tell them the truth.”  Zack isn’t his. 

Zack  _ isn’t _ his.  Someone else has a claim there, not him.

“All right.”  Angeal exhales.  “I worry. About you and about him.”  

Sephiroth doesn’t say anything to that.

 

* * *

 

The war ends.  Zack is there. He plays a pretty big part, actually.

He feels like he should feel a little more triumphant about it, but those strange Genesis copies have sapped all the victory away into a strange sort of tense calm.

Mostly, he’s just tired.

He gets to be in the Shinra publicity stuff, now, though, and Angeal and Sephiroth have both said things about recommending Zack for First, possibly.  He just wishes it felt... _ good _ .

He fidgets, waiting for them to be sent out in front of the reporters.

Sephiroth has a braid pulling back the hair on the right side of his head, and a look in his eyes that Zack’s never seen before.  Things have changed, since that night in Sephiroth’s room, and sometimes, Zack thinks he’s missing exactly what it was that changed.

“You’ll be fine,” Angeal assures him, noticing that he’s fidgeting.  “Sephiroth and I can do most of the talking.”

“Thanks,” Zack says, smiling a little.  “You guys have done this a lot more than me.”

“Genesis lived for things like this,” Sephiroth interjects, his voice and face softening a little. 

Zack doesn’t know what to say to that, but he doesn’t have the chance to say anything, because a moment later, they’re being ushered out onto a small stage.  Camera flashes blind him momentarily, and he stands there, blinking, next to Sephiroth and Angeal.

Lazard gives a short speech, praising the three of them and the entirety of SOLDIER for the successful end to the Wutai War.  Then, the reporters start asking questions.

Sephiroth approaches the microphone first, and a hush falls over the assembled reporters, broken only by a couple of camera flashes and the quiet sound of pen on notebook paper.  “We thank you for attending this conference,” Sephiroth says, and gestures to someone with a raised hand in the crowd. “A question?”

“Yes, uh, is there any word as to what happened to SOLDIER 1st Class Genesis Rhapsodos?  There have been a lot of rumors, and we could use some straight talk.” The reporter, a slinky-looking woman with greying hair, had stood up to deliver her question.

Angeal took that one, and Zack is surprised by the stillness in his expression.  “At this time, we don’t have any answers for you. As soon as we find him, or find out what happened to him, we will let you all know.”

“It’s our hope that he’s found quickly,” Sephiroth agrees.  “Until then, that’s all we can say about Genesis.”

The next question comes from a young man in coke bottle glasses, and it’s directed at Zack: “What’s it like, becoming such a part of an operation like this, working alongside these SOLDIER heroes?”

Zack takes a deep breath.  “Well, I’ve been training under Angeal for a while.  I couldn’t have gotten here without his help.” He bites his lip, just a little, before looking at Sephiroth.  “And I’ve been lucky enough that Sephiroth and I have gotten to be friends. I think the three of us work well together.”

He’s just being honest, and hopefully, he’s not really blushing, even though his face feels warm.

Sephiroth glances back at him, and picks up where he left off: “It’s very important, for those of us in SOLDIER, to be able to trust our comrades-in-arms.”

Zack can’t help but wonder why that sentence makes something cold snake through his stomach, but, as no one has any other questions for him, he certainly has quite a bit of time to consider it.

 

* * *

 

Sephiroth doesn’t really pay attention to gossip magazines.  It’s not his interest, though Genesis had loved to hear what people were saying about the three of them, and that’s why a few of those kinds of magazines always make their way to the Firsts’ lounge side table.

This week, in the wake of winning the war, of course they’re front page tabloid news.

But he’s surprised by the cover of the first one he sees, all the same.  It’s not because it’s of him — these covers often feature him heavily — but because it also includes a zoomed-in closeup of his wrist, where his clock reads zero.

_ SEPHIROTH’S SOULMATE: FOUND? _

He swallows, running his thumb across the clock, for a moment hating the whole idea of it, of having a soulmate at all.

Angeal and Genesis were everything a pair of soulmates ought to be, according to all those damn fairy tales and love stories.  But what had it given them? A war to fight and a tragic separation that Genesis  _ chose _ .

Sephiroth couldn’t possibly hope for better.  

It’s better for him to be alone.  His hand comes up to his hair; another woven pattern in it, courtesy of Zack.

He still can’t imagine that anyone lucky enough to have Zack as a soulmate would be so  _ stupid _ as to not want him.  It isn’t fair. 

If any of them deserve to be happy, Zack does.

He picks up the magazine, because he apparently has no self-preservation instinct after all.  Flipping to the cover story, he finds it’s mainly just speculation on who his soulmate might be.

All of the speculation is so off the mark, it’s almost comforting.

He goes through the other magazines in similar fashion.  It’s all fine, in the end. Just strangers who know nothing, jabbering to each other about him and his life.  It’s always been that way.

And as long as he’s in SOLDIER, that’s how it’s going to be.

 

* * *

 

Banora is…

Banora is  _ awful. _  That’s the only way Zack has to describe it.  

Knowing what he knows, that Angeal and Genesis are soulmates, watching them interact there makes his chest ache.  And the stuff Genesis is saying, about that play, and the poem…

_ Will you fly away now?  To a world that abhors you and I? _

Zack can’t help but swallow a lump in his throat when he hears that.

And then, Genesis turns to him and quotes more of the story, Zack thinks, saying, “My friend, the fates are cruel.” He tosses something at Zack, and Zack catches it: 

A copy of  _ Loveless _ .  

“Give that to Sephiroth, and tell him to read it.”

And with that, Genesis vanishes, flying up into the sky, and Zack finds himself the keeper of a story he doesn’t understand.

As he and Tseng board the helicopter, though, all he can think is this:

How is he going to tell Sephiroth?

 

* * *

 

Sephiroth isn’t expecting Zack to bring him anything from Genesis, but he does.  A book, and bad news.

“He wants you to read this,” Zack says, passing the book over to him.  “I didn't go through it, or anything, but —  _ Loveless _ , that's that play he's crazy about, right?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth says, taking the book into his hand and examining it.  “...This is the copy he was carrying when I wounded him.”

Zack frowns.  “Do you think he's trying to make you feel bad?”

Sephiroth shrugs one shoulder.  “I don't... _ think  _ so.” He scrutinizes the book, and then looks at Zack.  “What, exactly, did he say?”

“‘My friend, the fates are cruel.’ Then he tossed me the book, and said, 'Give that to Sephiroth, and tell him to read it.’” Zack frowns.  “I thought he might be quoting the book, for the first part.”

“He was.  Act Four, when the Prisoner meets the Hero again, after he leaves the Lover.” Sephiroth sighs. “Of course he'd pick that.  Don't worry about it.”

Zack nods.  “Hey, your braid —”

Sephiroth lifts a hand to his hair, and sure enough, the braid is untidy.  He bites the inside of his cheek. “Would you…?”

“Yeah, sure.  Let's sit.” Zack smiles.  “Y'know, it's funny.”

They sit, on one of the benches here in the main SOLDIER lounge, and Sephiroth cocks his head.  “What's funny?”

“People are kinda...intimidated by me, now, a little.” His fingers deftly slip into Sephiroth's hair.  “Because I hang out with you so much. And it's funny, because I know there's nothing to be intimidated by, not when somebody gets to know you.”

Sephiroth smiles, just a little.  “I suppose. People do like you, though.”

“I guess,” Zack says, warmly.  “But they'd like you, too, if they knew you like I do.” His hands in Sephiroth's hair are gentle.  “And I think I know you pretty well by now.”

“You do,” Sephiroth agrees.  “Only Angeal and Genesis might know me better.”

Zack laughs, just a little.  “You should come with me to Kunsel's birthday thing, his soulmate put it together.  She's a dancer, and she knows a guy who knows a guy, and so we're all supposed to meet up at this club in Sector 8 on Saturday.”

“Do you think that's a good idea?” Sephiroth considers it.

“I mighta, I might've already asked Annie if it's okay with her,” Zack admits.  “And she said it's totally fine.”

Sephiroth will never understand why Zack is so willing to make space for Sephiroth in his life, but he is, in this moment, so,  _ so  _ grateful for it.  “All right, then. I'll go with you.”

“Great!” Zack fixes the pins for the braid in place.  “Like I said, people would really like you, I think, if you let them in a little bit.” His hands slip free of Sephiroth's hair, and for a moment, Sephiroth wishes he had some excuse to have them return there.

Where had that thought come from?

He pushes it away and turns to look at Zack properly.  “How are...how are you?” he asks, instead. He's heard, a little, about what happened in Banora, about Angeal leaving them, seemingly at Genesis's behest.

It aches in his chest, and he's sure Zack is faring no better.

Zack sighs.  “Not...great,” he admits.  “I just — I guess I sorta saw this coming, given that they're, y'know.  But...gods, it looked like it was tearing Angeal up, when we were all standing there, and Genesis was saying all that stuff about, about the world abhorring them, or whatever.”

“He can't abandon Genesis any more than he could abandon his honor,” Sephiroth murmurs.

“Right,” Zack agrees.  “Imagine, loving someone that much, and then they go and do  _ that _ .  And you love them anyway.” He shakes his head, and Sephiroth notices the way his hand strays to the leather cuff on his clock-wrist. “I think that's the worst part.  Loving them anyway.”

Sephiroth lays gloved fingertips against Zack's hand.  “We can count ourselves lucky, then. We'll never be in Angeal's position.”

Zack laughs, but it sounds sad.

 

* * *

 

They promote him to First.  They move his quarters to the section of the building where Sephiroth would otherwise be living alone.

Kunsel thumps his back and congratulates him.  “Man, your soulmate's gotta be proud of you for this.  You guys still taking it slow? I haven't asked in a while.”

“It's...it's not going anywhere,” Zack admits.  “He doesn't want a soulmate.”

“Shiva,” Kunsel swears.  It's not unheard of, for someone to reject their soulmate, but the results have always been unhappy. “I'm sorry.”

Zack smiles ruefully.  “Yeah, me too.”

 

* * *

 

 

There's a note, scrawled in the back of the copy of  _ Loveless. _

_ My dear Sephiroth, _

_ I hope you've realized it by now, but I cannot take Angeal from you without knowing for sure that you know it. _

_ Zack is your soulmate.  He knows. He told Angeal months ago.  Angeal told me. Now I'm telling you, along with some advice. _

_ Hold on to him.  Don't hold him at a distance.  I know you don't hold my advice in high regard when it comes to this topic.  My situation with Angeal is unusual, for sure. But this much I know: you are going to need him, and he will need you. _

_ Trust your heart, and trust him. _

_ I can’t apologize for what I’m doing.  Soon, I promise you will understand. _

_ In the meantime, don’t let yourself be alone.  Not when you don’t have to be, my dear, dear friend. _

_ \-- G.R. _

Sephiroth nearly drops the book, as if stung by it.  It seems, for a long moment, impossible.

Zack is  _ his _ soulmate?  Could he be so lucky?  To have found him unasked for, unknown -- is that what it  _ means _ , to have a soulmate?  That you’ll find them, even if you’re not looking?

Then, a wave of anger passes over him.  Zack never said anything to  _ him _ , but told Angeal?  And Angeal, Angeal could easily have told him that night in Wutai, when he took the time to warn Sephiroth about the way the world could react if it only  _ thought _ they were together.

He sits down, the book open in his lap.  He thinks about what Zack said to him, after Genesis left: 

_ Yeah, I...I know who my soulmate is.  But I can’t have him. _

Right after Sephiroth himself had said he didn’t  _ want _ to know who his soulmate was.  Because...because that’s still true.  Recognizing his soulmate in any significant way...it would only test the strength of his loyalty to his duty.

Someday, something will happen, and Sephiroth will need to choose, and he cannot bear the idea of choosing wrongly.

He swallows, and decides to do nothing.

 

* * *

 

“C’mon, I said you’re gonna do great,” Zack says, smiling at Sephiroth.  In some ways, it gets easier, as time passes, to deal with the ache of being unwanted.  After all, he still gets to spend time with Sephiroth, even if Sephiroth doesn’t know they’re soulmates.  Even if Sephiroth doesn’t  _ want _ him.

Zack can have this, at least.  His fingers toying with the ends of Sephiroth’s hair as he works the very end of a braid between his fingers.  He can bring Sephiroth to a birthday party, and he can go back to their shared barracks with him.

This much, he’s allowed to have.

Sephiroth’s been quieter, lately, since Zack came back alone from Banora.  Zack figures he misses Genesis and Angeal, and hell, Zack misses Angeal, too.

But tonight, he’s going to try and enjoy himself, wish Kunsel a happy birthday, and maybe get Sephiroth out of his shell a little bit.  That’s all he needs to do, right? Tonight doesn’t have to be about anything else but tonight.

They may be SOLDIERs, but they’re  _ people _ too.

“It will cause a stir,” Sephiroth murmurs, as they approach the nightclub’s double doors.  The bouncer is about five inches shorter than Sephiroth, and looks absolutely thunderstruck to see him here.

Zack laughs.  “Yeah, maybe a little.”  He grins at the bouncer. “Uh, we’re here for the birthday party.  Aldous Kunsel?”

It’s always  _ really _ weird to use Kunsel’s first name -- not even Annie does, except for stuff like this.  The bouncer lets them in, but Zack has a feeling he would’ve done that even if they hadn’t given a name for the party.

“Zack!  Holy shit!” Kunsel says, his voice half-swallowed by the stereo blasting.  “You brought  _ Sephiroth _ to my birthday party?”

Zack laughs and walks the rest of the way to the bar to give Kunsel a brief hug.  “My man! And yeah, I did. I checked with Annie, and she said it’d be fine.” He gestures at Sephiroth.  “Seph, this is Kunsel; we were Thirds together, and had the same barracks assignment for a really long time.”

Sephiroth nods and extends a hand to shake.  “Right, the one who tripped over his soulmate,” he says, and Zack can’t help laughing at the look on Kunsel’s face.

Kunsel shakes Sephiroth’s hand, though.  “Nice to meet you for real, man. Zack talks about you a whole lot.”

“He speaks of you often, as well.”  Sephiroth has the ghost of a smile on his face, and Zack can’t help but feel warmed by how well this is all going.  Not that he expected any different! Kunsel is pretty laid-back, and he has always believed that Sephiroth just needs a chance to come out of his shell, so it makes sense that they’d already get along.

“I’m so glad you two finally made it!” And there’s Annie, striding over to them from where she’d been in a huddle with some other SOLDIER WAGs -- Wives and Girlfriends, though there were a couple boyfriends among their number these days -- and also extending a hand for Sephiroth to shake.  “I’m Annie, Kunsel’s soulmate.”

Kunsel grins and tosses an arm around her waist.  “Which makes me the luckiest man alive, probably,” he says.

Sephiroth shakes her hand, too.  “Thank you,” he says to Annie.

“Not a problem, Sephiroth -- can I call you that?” 

“It’s my name,” Sephiroth replies, a little awkwardly.  “So please, feel free.”

Zack is grinning.  He can’t help it, given how well all of this is going.  He turns to the bar, hoping to order something with a little bit of kick to it.

“Hey, nuh-uh,” Kunsel says, as if he can already tell.  “You’ve still got about a year and a half before you hit twenty, right?”

He groans, mock-disappointed.  “Oh, c’mon, Kunsel. You didn’t have anything to say out in Wutai!”

“Yeah, but in Wutai we were all risking our necks every day.  But the war’s over, and I’m not gonna let you drink yourself off the Plate on my birthday.”  Kunsel throws an arm around his shoulders, and Zack doesn’t even notice that Annie’s taken Sephiroth a little ways away herself.

“Okay, fine,” Zack says, shaking his head.  “Gimme a virgin pina colada, please,” he says to the bartender, a young woman with a bright green crew cut who smiles at him when he orders.

Kunsel squeezes his shoulder.  “Now, I gotta ask, because I’m your best friend, and I love you, man: is it Sephiroth?”

It takes Zack a second to process what Kunsel means. 

Then, he takes a deep breath and nods.  It’s hard to say it out loud, so he doesn’t.  Sephiroth may be his soulmate, but that doesn’t  _ mean _ anything, in the long run.  Not if Sephiroth doesn’t want it to, and Sephiroth doesn’t even want a soulmate at all.

“Well, Bahamut, that sucks.”  Kunsel squeezes his shoulder. “Did he — did he  _ say  _ he doesn't want you?”

“He doesn't know it's me.” He takes his drink when the bartender passes it over.  “But he...he doesn't even want to have a soulmate at all. I just have to live with that.” As much as it hurts.

Kunsel whistles, and throws back a shot of vodka.  “If there's anything I can do, man, let me know.”

Zack nods.  “Thanks.”

 

* * *

 

Annie passes Sephiroth a glass of wine.  “So, Zack, huh?”

“Excuse me?” He bristles; the wineglass cracks.

“Whoa, don't freak out,” she says, lifting a hand.  “I just meant your braids. You only started wearing braids during the late part of the war, Kunsel said.”

He sighs, and nods, draining the cracked glass before it can spill.  “Yes.”

“They look nice.  I wish Kunsel had time to help me with  _ my  _ hair, but, y'know.” She shrugs.  “Perils of being a SOLDIER WAG.”

He nods.  “I imagine it must be...difficult, to some degree.”

“It can be.  It was, during the war especially.”  She smiles a little. “But it’s going to be better, now that the war’s done.  We’re thinking about getting married, actually.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t already.”  He’s heard, via Zack, about a lot of SOLDIER weddings and elopements in the brief span of time since the war ended.  “I’m told a lot of people have.”

She grins a little.  “Yeah, but I’m from Mideel, and Kunsel’s from Costa Del Sol, and our families would have to do a lot of traveling to get here for the wedding.”  She shrugs one shoulder. “At this point, we’re honestly considering doing it twice — once in one, and then the other. That way no one misses out.”

“That seems sensible.”  Sephiroth has never considered marriage.  He thinks he can’t, not seriously.

Theoretically, they  _ could _ .  But he can’t.  He can’t take the risk it would entail, so here he is, listening to Annie talk about her impending nuptials, forcing down any small longings of his own.

“It’s a lot more sensible than running off to Midgar to try out for a production of  _ Loveless _ with nothing but the clothes on my back, for sure,” she says, laughing.  “I think my parents are just glad I at least found him here.”

He nods.  “Zack speaks highly of Kunsel; I’d imagine he’ll make a good impression on your parents.”

She laughs.  “Thank you. And thank you for coming!  Zack was so shy about asking if he could bring you, but it was so sweet.  He didn't want to leave you alone, since the two of you are in town at the same time.”

Sephiroth blushes, and takes the second glass of wine she hands him.  “He's very considerate.”

Another pair of women move over to them, giggling as they approach.  “Oh my god, Annie, don't monopolize him! You're not even Silver Elite.”

Sephiroth tenses.   _ Fans. _

“Girls, girls,” Annie says, grinning.  “Don't forget, the boys are still here.” She reaches out and pats Sephiroth's hand companionably.  “Don't worry about Luna and Stephanie; they're both happily married.”

One of them laughs.  “And besides, you're taken, too,” she points out.  “Now, question: did your soulmate do those braids for you?”

“Zack does his hair for him,” Annie says, her grin widening.  “Frankly, I think it's super sweet for a friend to do that. Kind of thing that makes me glad I got in on the ground floor of  _ Zack's  _ fan club.”

Zack...has a fan club.  That's disconcerting.

“I don't wish to discuss my soulmate,” he says, a little awkwardly.  “And Zack certainly is...sweet.”

“Keeping it private, huh?” The other woman says.  “That's fair. Not that I think she'd be in danger, but you are a high-profile man, and that's gotta be hard.”

“Yes,” he says.  “The situation is.  Complicated.” Half the wine in his glass is gone.  “Like I said. I don't want to talk about it.”

“Fair,” Annie says, and leads the conversation in another direction.

 

* * *

 

“Well, I'd call that a success,” Zack says as they leave the club, leaning against Sephiroth's shoulder.  “Everybody loved you.”

He means it, too: Sephiroth has been more social tonight than Zack's ever seen him.

Sephiroth smiles down at him.  “They loved  _ you _ ,” he counters.  “But they might like me,” he concedes.  “Annie gave me her mail address.”

“Oh, nice!” Friends outside SOLDIER would definitely do Sephiroth some good.

“Also, you have a fan club,” Sephiroth informs him gravely.  “Annie is in it, and Stephanie, and Luna, and Cheryl, and Tommy, and Mitsu.  And Kunsel, according to Annie.”

Zack laughs.  “Oh, man, that’s  _ so _ weird.”

He never expected that, even when he was trying so hard to make First, before everything changed and Genesis left.  He knew about Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis’ fan clubs, but it had never occurred to him that he might wind up with one of his own.

And Sephiroth is, Zack notices, a little drunk.  It’s kind of adorable -- but then, most things about Sephiroth, when not, say in the heat of battle, are kind of adorable.

“I think it makes sense.  You’re very social.” Sephiroth slips an arm around Zack’s.  “Let’s go home.”

Zack smiles, leaning into the touch.

So he can’t have everything.  

But he can have this.  

And right now, this is more than enough.

 

* * *

 

Sephiroth jerks awake, fully dressed, in Zack's bed, to the sound of sirens.  His mouth tastes like death, and he'd been curled around Zack like it was where he was supposed to be.

Zack wakes, too, immediately moving to disentangle himself from Sephiroth.  “What the fuck is that?!”

Sephiroth's phone rings.  He picks up, and it's Lazard.

“Sephiroth, get up to the president's floor, and send Zack to the building's main entrance.  We're under attack.” Lazard hangs up immediately after delivering his message.

Zack looks at him, expectant.

“We're under attack.  Lazard wants me with the President, and for you to take the front entrance.” Sephiroth takes a breath.  “It must be Genesis and Angeal.”

“Yeah,” Zack breathes.  He gets up from the bed and pulls his boots on.

Sephiroth does the same, and then they're standing amidst the shrieking sirens together, in Zack's room, looking at each other.

“Be careful out there, yeah?” Zack requests, biting his lip.  

This is the moment, Sephiroth thinks, where a kiss would go, if they were properly together.  But they're not, so Sephiroth just nods slightly. “You too.”

Zack darts forward, then, his hand briefly in the end of one of Sephiroth's braids from the day before.  “Wish we had time to fix these. But — well. We gotta go. Masamune's in your room, right?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth says, his chest tight at the unexpected touch.  

Zack smiles at him and straps on his own sword.  “See you later, alright? And don’t worry about me, I’ve got this.”

Sephiroth can’t help but smile just a little as Zack leaves the room.

Nothing about the interaction is at all surprising, and Sephiroth thinks that  _ that _ is the best part of being around Zack Fair.  All his sweetness, all his affection, is given so freely, without expectation.

He retrieves Masamune and belts it to his waist, and heads upstairs to do his job.

 

* * *

 

 

Zack kind of expected that falling off the Plate would be...a lot more  _ fatal _ , frankly.

But here he is, definitely alive, though basically  _ everything _ hurts.  He groans, eyes finally flickering open after a long moment, to find a girl leaning over him.

She’s beautiful, with long brown hair tied back in a braid, and if Zack wasn’t already spoken for, he thinks he would have fallen for her instantly.  As it stands, he blinks up at her in confusion. “Are you -- did you save me?”

“Not really,” she says, laughing.  “You fell through the ceiling. I think that broke your fall, and then you landed on some of the flowers.”

Flowers?  In Midgar?

He looks to his left, and sure enough, there’s a flower patch.  “Oh, wow. Flowers.”

“This is the only place in the whole city where they grow naturally,” the girl says.  “I planted some cuttings outside my house, but this is where they all came from.”

Zack sits up, even though it hurts to do.  He’s in...some kind of abandoned church.

“Where am I?” he asks.

“A church in the slums.  Under Sector Five, to be specific.”  She smiles at him. “I’m Aerith. What’s your name?”

“Zack.”  He cracks his shoulders, and then notices something odd:

Aerith doesn’t have a clock.  And she doesn’t have the scarring that would indicate she  _ used _ to have one, either.  Her right wrist is just smooth, unbroken skin.  

“Oh, you noticed,” she says, smiling ruefully.  “I was born without one. My mom didn’t have one, either.”

Zack shrugs.  “Having a soulmate...isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, really.”  

“Oh?” Aerith asks.  “Do you not like yours?”

He shakes his head.  “No, I...I love him. But he doesn’t want a soulmate, so.  We just...aren’t together.” He shrugs again. “It’s okay. I still get to see him almost every day, so I make do.”

“I’m sorry,” she says, and pulls him into a brief, gentle hug.  

“It’s okay,” he says, hugging her back for a moment.  “He’s great. I think...even if we weren’t ‘mated, I’d still be half in love with him.”

She smiles.  “Well, that’s good, at least.”

“Thanks, by the way, for looking after me while I was unconscious,” he says to her.  “And sorry if I scared you.”

“It’s okay,” she assures him.  “Honestly, the SOLDIER uniform is a lot scarier than you falling out of the sky.”

Zack frowns.  “Really? You’re scared of SOLDIERs?”

“Mhm,” she says, looking down and away from him.  “It’s...I don’t know exactly why. I just am.” She shrugs.  “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine!  I know we can be intimidating,” he tries to reassure her.  “Especially the stuff that winds up on the news.” They all look a lot scarier on TV -- and it’s especially weird when he sees himself in that context.

Aerith smiles at him again.  “Thank you,” she says. “You’re a lot nicer than I’d expect for a SOLDIER, that’s for sure.”

“Like I said, TV and stuff.” He smiles at her.  “Do you think you could walk me to a slums entrance?  I don't know this part of Midgar, like, at all.”

“Sure,” she says.  “But don't be a stranger, once you go back up there!”

 

* * *

 

After the attack, Sephiroth visits Gongaga alone.  Technically, he's there to check in on the Mako reactor, but that took maybe an hour of his time.

So, awkwardly, he goes looking for Zack's parents.

He finds them easily enough, because Gongaga is a  _ very  _ small town.  Knocking on the door, he wonders what the Fairs will be like in person.  He'd never met Angeal's mother, or Genesis's parents, and he had been raised without his, so he has no real frame of reference.

The middle-aged woman who opens the door has a strong, almost startling resemblance to Zack.

She stands there for a moment, and then her face breaks into a smile.  “Oh, it's  _ you!   _ Please, sweetheart, come inside.” She reaches out to him and tugs her into her tiny house.

It's cozy, on the inside, and the woman, presumably Mrs. Fair, puts a pot of tea on the stove.

He doesn't know what to make of any of this.

“I knew Zack couldn't keep who his soulmate is a secret for too long,” she says, shuffling him toward the kitchen table to sit.  “But I must say, it's a bit of a surprise to find it's you.”

Sephiroth blinks.  “How did you know?”

She pats his hand as she bustles by.  “Zack used to weave rope with exactly that pattern as a boy, and he told us his soulmate was in a young man in SOLDIER with him, and, well, here you are.”

“Oh,” he says.  He hadn’t realized there was a significance in the braid itself.  “I...didn’t know that, about the braid.”

Mrs. Fair smiles at him.  “I take it the two of you are still getting to know each other, then,” she says.  “Which is fine. Lawrence and I took  _ years _ to figure out how our relationship worked, after all.  You have plenty of time.”

He nods, just a little.  “I thought -- since I was here, anyway, about the reactor...I wanted to tell you, in person.  I very much intend to keep Zack as safe as possible.”

“I’m glad you’ve come by,” she says, bringing the teapot over to the table.  “And I appreciate that you want to keep my son safe, but I understand that you both do a very dangerous job, even with the war over.”

“Yes,” he concedes.  When she offers him tea, he accepts it.  “I am. Concerned. There have been attacks on Shinra throughout the continent, and I don’t think they’re going to stop.”

She nods.  “But all of you will do your best.”  She smiles. “Zack writes about you all the time, so I practically feel I already know you.  He has a lot of faith in you.” 

Sephiroth flushes, just a little.  “I’m good at my job,” he says.

“You are,” she agrees.  

At that moment, the door to the little house opens, and a man about Mrs. Fair’s age walks in.  He takes one look at Sephiroth and laughs a laugh that reminds Sephiroth distinctly of Zack.

“So you finally made it out to Gongaga!” he says, approaching Sephiroth and taking his hand with a firm shake.

“Uh, yes.”  Sephiroth isn’t sure what to do.

Mrs. Fair laughs.  “Lawrence, give him a minute, he didn’t know we’d be able to tell.”

Presumably, this is Mr. Fair, then.  “All right, all right, I’ll lay off. But it’s not every day you meet your future son-in-law.  Did Zack come with you?”

“No, he’s in Corel, clearing some monsters out of a mine, if I’m not mistaken.”  Sephiroth takes a breath. “And it’s good to meet you. Zack speaks of both of you fairly often.”

“Good, good,” Mr. Fair says.  “And I’m glad you came by, since you’re in town.”

“Yes, though, I would’ve liked a little warning — you should stay for supper, at the very least,” Mrs. Fair says with a smile.  “I would’ve made cookies, if I’d known you were coming.”

Sephiroth has a feeling he will certainly be staying for dinner.

 

* * *

 

 

Zack's glad he didn't bring the trooper in.  Genesis has lost it, and Angeal can't be far behind him.  That's how these things  _ work. _

A Cure materia is enough to mostly close a slice deep in his hip after Genesis falls, but there isn't enough time, and he doesn't have enough energy, to do more.  The magic that materia provides isn’t his strongest suit; he’s always been better at hitting stuff with a sword, in the end, than the fine control required to get  _ really _ good with materia.

He finds Angeal, and  _ shit _ , Angeal looks faded and old and, well,  _ broken. _

Zack hefts his sword, his heart twisting in his chest.

In some ways, this is not a fight he wants to win.

 

* * *

 

 

He gets a call from Zack, which isn’t normal, just as he’s touching down in Midgar after a mission he only half paid attention to, routing some members of AVALANCHE from a base.

“Hey, Sephiroth,” Zack says, and he sounds...exhausted.  And in pain.

Sephiroth stiffens.  “What’s wrong?”

Zack laughs, a little breathlessly.  “I’m fine, I just -- Modeoheim didn’t go so great.  I'm in the infirmary wing, and, uh. Angeal and Genesis…”

He trails off, and Sephiroth  _ knows _ .  

Immediately, he changes course for the infirmary wing.  “How did it happen?”

“Genesis, um, he threw himself off a platform and fell.  Angeal...I…” Zack swallows. “He transformed into this, this monster, and I…”

“Of course,” Sephiroth says softly.  “You did your job.”

He doesn't know how to comfort Zack, not in a moment like this.  It hasn't even hit him yet, really, that Angeal and Genesis are  _ dead _ , only that Zack is hurt and Zack might need him.

Zack sighs.  “I know. I just...it's  _ Angeal. _ ”

“I know.” Sephiroth reaches the infirmary in record time; the receptionist makes no effort to stop his entry, and moments later, he finds Zack on one of the cots, phone laid on the pillow next to him.

He looks  _ awful.   _

His cheek is bandaged, and so is is his chest, and he's practically covered in bruises.  Sephiroth barely notices the blond trooper in the chair next to the bed; he's overwhelmed by seeing Zack hurt like this.

“Hey, Seph,” Zack says, with a tiny, exhausted smile.  “You just get home?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth says, dropping to one knee next to the cot.  “Your call came just as I was landing. I came straight here.”

“Don't you have a debrief…?” Zack frowns a little, shifting.

Sephiroth nods.  “It can wait. This is — I would say this is much more important.” His chest aches, and he yearns to tangle his hands with Zack's.  He doesn’t, though, because they’re not alone. “You’re hurt.”

“Yeah, I just...hard fight, you know?  But Tseng and Cloud made sure I got home.”  He motions at the trooper. “That’s Cloud. He’s from...Nibelheim, right?”

The trooper nods, but doesn’t say anything.

Sephiroth nods again.  “Thank you,” he says to Cloud, and means it.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Zack asks him.  “You look...off.” 

Of course it’s like Zack to worry about others before himself.  

Sephiroth shakes his head.  “I’m fine.” 

“Your hair’s a wreck,” Zack teases.  “Did you do it yourself?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth admits, flushing just a little.  “I’ve been out of practice, thanks to you.” He’s trying to tease Zack in return, though he’s not sure it gets across.

Zack smiles at him.  “Yeah, well, gimme a day or two to get back on my feet, and I’ll fix it.”

Sephiroth can’t help but smile at the thought.

 

* * *

 

Several months pass.  Sephiroth is...distant, now.  Coping with his grief in his own way, Zack is sure. 

But it still hurts.  He turns, often, to Aerith for support, visiting her down in her church in the slums.  She’s got him building her a cart to sell flowers in, and honestly, in his darker moments, part of him wishes he could love her, instead.

“Bring him a flower,” Aerith says, one day, as he’s lounging in one of the pews in the Church.  A rare day off. He doesn’t think Sephiroth’s in Midgar.

“Do you think that’ll help?” Zack sighs. “It’s been months, Aerith.  I’ve barely seen him. And when...when I see him on the news, he...I know it’s stupid, but he doesn’t braid his hair anymore, and...I miss him, you know?”

Aerith sits down next to him, laying her head on his shoulder.  “I can’t say I know how you feel,” she says, not unkindly. “But I think it’s worth trying.  Neither of you should be going through this alone, and from what you’ve said, he doesn’t really have anyone else to turn to.”

“Yeah,” Zack breathes.  His chest aches. “I...yeah.”

Later, he brings a flower home.

He’s not expecting to see Sephiroth, but Sephiroth is there, looking like he looks when there are cameras on him.  His hair hangs loose around his shoulders. 

Zack wants to get his hands in it.

They both stop, surprised to see each other, but it’s Sephiroth who says something.

“You...you’ve gotten taller,” he says, and Zack hears what he’s not saying.  It’s something everyone has been  _ not saying _ in the last couple of months.

He looks like Angeal, now, carrying Angeal’s sword, Angeal’s legacy, and with his hair grown out and the growth spurt, well.

From a distance, they look a lot alike.

“Yeah.  You, uh, you’re wearing your hair down again.”  It’s a stupid thing to say. He shouldn’t have said it.

Sephiroth flushes a little.  “Easier that way.”

Something is wrong, and it’s like someone’s clenched a fist around Zack’s lungs.  He’s holding the flower. “Yeah. It’s...been a while, huh?” He takes an awkward step forward.  “A friend of mine, in the Sector Five slums, she has these flowers. Thought you might like one.”

Sephiroth blinks.  “Flowers? In Midgar?”

“Yeah.”  Zack moves over toward him.  “So, I thought I’d bring one back for you.”

“...Thank you,” Sephiroth says, and Zack will take the fact that he isn’t moving away to be a good sign.

Zack reaches up and tucks the flower behind Sephiroth’s ear.  “I miss you, y’know.”

Sephiroth inhales.  “Do you...do you want to braid my hair?” he asks, and looks a little awkward in the asking.  He even bites his lip, briefly.

“Yeah.  Let’s, um — my room, or yours?”

“Mine?”

So that’s what they do.

 

* * *

 

Sephiroth has not been handling his grief well.  Genesis and Angeal were his first friends, his dearest friends, and now they are gone.

Cut down as much by love as by anything else, and Sephiroth  _ cannot  _ put himself in that position.  He cannot do that to Zack, not when Zack has done so much for him over the last year and a half.

He’d made the decision, then, to love Zack from afar, to give as much distance as he can.

But now, here is Zack, with his flower and his hands and his softness, and Sephiroth cannot tell him no.  Not today, when he is so disarming. Not today, after Sephiroth has been away for a week, routing some of the remnants of Genesis’s copies, faced over and over again with his face.

_ Hold on to him _ , Genesis had counseled him in his letter.

And tonight, Sephiroth cannot keep himself from taking that advice.

Silently, he leads Zack into his room.  He takes off his pauldrons, Masamune, his coat — all of the uniform beyond his pants and socks — and sits on his bed.  

Zack takes a breath, seeming to steady himself.  He pulls off his own boots, sets the Buster Sword by the door, and kneels behind Sephiroth.  But for the silence and the flower, this moment could be normal. 

Sephiroth hates that it isn’t normal, that things will never be  _ normal  _ again.

He doesn’t realize he’s shaking until Zack murmurs, “Are you sure you want me here?” as if he thinks it’s his presence that is unsettling.  

“Stay,” he manages, voice thick with unspoken feeling.

“Okay,” Zack says, and his hands slip into Sephiroth’s hair.  For a moment, it’s just that, just touch. Zack’s hands, running fingers through his hair, gentle and steady as ever, and Sephiroth wants to break.

He doesn’t, though, just remains still.  

He isn’t expecting it, then, when Zack tips forward, forehead against the back of Sephiroth’s head.  Zack lets out a shaky exhale, and Sephiroth feels him shudder.

“Shit, Seph, I’m sorry,” Zack says.  

Sephiroth reaches back, almost on instinct, and touches Zack’s cheek.  His fingertips come away wet, and Sephiroth can’t bear it. He twists, shifts, until he can cup his hands around Zack's face.  “Please,” he murmurs. “If you need it.”

Zack blinks at him, swallows.  “What do you mean?”

“I've — been distant.” His thumb traces the scar on Zack's cheek.  “It's been hard.”

The closest he's ever come to admitting that he knows what they are to each other.  This, he can do. This, he has to do. For Zack, and, selfishly, for himself.

Zack's face crumples, and he tips over, landing against Sephiroth's bare chest.  His arms go around Sephiroth's waist, and Sephiroth can't set his hands where he wants them, because Zack's pauldrons are in the way.

It should be clear that he's not thinking straight when he starts unbuckling the offending articles.  

But he  _ needs _ to touch Zack, needs to curl around him and feel his stalwart frame and  _ know  _ Zack will be all right, because he can't be all right if Zack isn't.

Finally, the armor falls away, and Sephiroth can dig his fingers into the muscle of Zack's shoulders.

_ Hold onto him _ , Genesis had said.

Sephiroth thinks he would be proud of him, for this, and a slick dread almost overwhelms him.

Then, Zack holds him tighter, and Sephiroth can't care anymore.

 

* * *

 

 

In the morning, Zack wakes up with his hands buried in Sephiroth's loose hair.  They're tangled up together in Sephiroth's bed, and Zack's chest aches.

This is how it  _ should _ be.  He's needed this for months, but Sephiroth doesn't want a soul mate, so he can only have this in fits and starts.  He tries to enjoy it while he can, if it's permitted, but his heart hurts knowing that it's only temporary, that Sephiroth doesn't  _ know. _

Sephiroth shifts against him.  “Zack?” he asks, sounding muzzy from sleep.  “Okay.”

Zack chuckles a little.  “Yeah,” he murmurs.

“Good,” Sephiroth mumbles, shifting closer.  “Stay.”

Zack runs his fingers through Sephiroth’s hair.  “Yeah, of course. Go back to sleep.”

It’s clear that Sephiroth needs this, too, even if he undoubtedly doesn’t know why.  And Zack can give him this, at least, even if it hurts. This is how things are, and he can live with it.  He has to.

They have no other viable alternatives.

 

* * *

 

 

Things shift, just a little, after that night.  Sephiroth stops trying to avoid Zack, because it’s a fact that he doesn’t sleep as well without him, and more often than not, they do fall asleep together.

It lets Sephiroth focus again, and he takes up the investigation into  _ what happened _ to Genesis and Angeal once more.  

They were his best friends.  He owes them that, at least. 

He doesn’t tell Zack.  Zack has done more than enough, and Sephiroth doesn’t want to get him even more tangled up in this story.

But then, he finds information pointing him toward Nibelheim.  He has to go there, though, to really figure out what's going on.  And he can't just disappear, not again. So, he decides to clue Zack in.

“Zack?” he asks, knocking on Zack's doorframe, surprised to find that Zack isn't in.

There's a note, though, and it's addressed to Sephiroth, reading:

_ Hey Seph! _

_ Last minute mission thing.  Probably gonna be home tonight, but don't worry about waiting up for me!  That braid should hold through the night. _

_ — Z _

Sephiroth’s hand goes to the side of his head, where a braid is pulling the front of his hair back behind his ear.  Zack’s right, it  _ will _ hold, but…

He still wants to wait.  If he doesn’t wait up for Zack, he has a feeling he’ll lose his nerve about asking him to accompany him to Nibelheim when he goes.  He doesn’t want to go alone, not when he has so many theories about what could be going on.

So he toes off his boots, sets Masamune against the doorframe and his coat and pauldrons over Zack’s desk chair, and sits down on top of the covers on Zack’s bed, leaning against the wall.

He waits, not just because of his questions about Nibelheim, but because, since that night a few weeks ago, Sephiroth has found himself  _ unable _ to stay away for very long.  Something about that night had made going back to the distance before it unbearable, and so, he finds himself in tighter orbit around Zack, instead.

He's past a point of no return, it seems.

He dozes for an hour or so, waking when the mattress dips.  Zack smiles at him, murmuring, “Thought I told you not to wait up for me.”

“It's only been an hour,” Sephiroth murmurs back, looking up at Zack through his eyelashes.

Zack laughs, and his arms wrap around Sephiroth.  “Still, you waited.”

This, this is what Sephiroth wants, and Zack gives it so freely.  Sephiroth wonders, sometimes, if that's the point of having a soulmate at all.  

He wonders what he gives Zack, in return.

“I wanted to ask you to come on a mission with me,” Sephiroth says, softly.  “I think...I think I've made a breakthrough, regarding Project G.”

Zack holds him tighter.  “Where are we going?”

“Nibelheim.” 

 

* * *

 

 

Zack asks Cloud to come with them, because there might be monsters, and Zack knows Sephiroth won’t be running at 100% if he’s lost in thought about Project G and all that stuff.  Plus, Cloud’s  _ from _ Nibelheim; he knows people out there.

The kid’s a little starstruck by Sephiroth, still, but he's Zack's friend, so Zack just tosses an arm around his shoulders companionably.  “Man, this is gonna be good. Nice, simple mission, and then you get to hang out with your mom and that Tifa girl you're always mailing.”

Cloud flushes; Zack can see the edges under his helmet.

“Is she your soulmate?” Sephiroth asks, from where he's seated in the back of truck they're all riding in the trailer of.  He looks...well, a little worse for wear, frankly, and Zack knows it's because they're finally drawing close to the answers behind what happened to Angeal and Genesis.  He hasn't been sleeping well, either.

Cloud splutters, and Zack laughs, lifting Cloud's wrist.  The clock is still running, with about three years left.

“N-no,” Cloud says, belatedly.  

Sephiroth smirks a little.  “Good luck, then, when you find them.  You mentioned wanting to be in SOLDIER, Zack said.  Be careful. It isn't an easy life.”

Zack nods.  “He's right.  It can be rough.”

Cloud nods, too, and the three of them go quiet, waiting to arrive in Nibelheim.

Sometimes, Zack wonders if Sephiroth suspects him.  He doesn't know if that would make the situation better, or worse. 

Either way, there's nothing he can do about it.

 

* * *

 

 

Sephiroth has a feeling that he knows what he will find when they reach the Mako reactor.  He’s been neck deep in any Science Department records he’s been able to find, and it’s all come down to a few factors.

Hojo, experimenting on pregnant women.  Intense Mako infusions, beyond safe levels.  Mothers dying young, or disappearing from the records.

There has never been an explanation as to where Sephiroth came from.  He doesn’t know who his parents are. He suspects Hojo had something to do with that.

“Sephiroth?” Zack asks, when Sephiroth stops in front of one of the capsules littering the reactor.  “What’s wrong?”

“Look,” Sephiroth says, gesturing at the window into the capsule.

Zack looks in.  “Whoa.”

Sephiroth looks away, because, well — among the things he suspects, there is this: that he is more like these monsters than he is like a SOLDIER like Zack.

“Are those...are those monsters?”

“Yes.”  He glances at Zack.  “Regular SOLDIERS like you, as you know, are treated with Mako energy.  But these monsters...they’ve been infused with so much more than a SOLDIER.  It warps them into these...these  _ things _ .”

Zack looks at him.  “Like me? What about you?”

Sephiroth steps away, turning to look out across the atrium to the reactor.  “I…”

And then, he hears a whisper.   _ Sephiroth. _

_ Sephiroth, my child.  Find me. I am here.  _

He lowers his head into his hands.  This  _ can’t  _ be happening.  He’s hearing things.  He has to be hearing things.

Zack rushes to his side, his hands on Sephiroth’s back.  “What’s wrong?”

“Am I...could it be, that I’m a monster, like those things?”  Saying it out loud makes it feel terrifyingly real.

“Why would you think that?” Zack asks.

Sephiroth shakes his head.  “All my life. I’ve always been...different.  But I never wanted...I never wanted it to be like  _ this _ .”  He shudders.  “Am I...a human being?”

And then, a voice cracks out across the room:

“No such luck.”

 

* * *

 

 

Zack whips around, grabbing the hilt of the Buster Sword.  It can’t be. It  _ can’t  _ be.

“Genesis!” he calls out, getting between Genesis and Sephiroth.

Genesis, looking...well, faded.   _ Degraded _ , Zack can’t help but think.  He doesn’t look like the copies do.  This version has aged with little grace, instead of just going grey.  To be honest, he kind of looks like he’s dying.

“Still the loyal dog, hm?” Genesis says, but he doesn’t look at Zack, instead looking past him at Sephiroth.  “Pity he’s the one you’re loyal to.”

“Be quiet, Genesis,” Sephiroth says, turning back to look at him.  “I can’t say I expected to see you  _ alive.” _

Genesis chuckles darkly, flicking his hand.  “If you can call this living.”

He approaches Zack and Sephiroth, and Zack draws the Buster Sword.  “Don’t come any closer,” Zack says, steady, waiting for Genesis’s next move.

“Zack,” Sephiroth murmurs, “You don’t have to --”

“No, you don’t.  And moreover, you shouldn’t.”  Genesis smirks. “I’m not here to  _ harm _ anyone.  I’m not sure I’m even capable of it anymore.”

Zack doesn’t move.

“Either way, Sephiroth,  _ you _ must know, by now: you’re a monster.”  Genesis moves closer, his chest even with the tip of the Buster Sword.  “The greatest monster the Jenova project ever produced.”

“My mother?” Sephiroth puts a hand on Zack’s shoulder, as if to tell him to lower the sword.

Genesis laughs.  “I don’t know what story you told yourself growing up.  But Jenova...they unearthed Jenova decades ago, from a cavern fifteen  _ thousand _ years old.  One of those Ancients, they determined.”

Zack doesn’t understand what’s happening.  He knows just enough about how Genesis and Angeal were created to know this must be connected, but he can’t understand what Jenova and Sephiroth have to do with it.

“Project G and Project S comprised Project Jenova.”  Genesis gestures toward the reactor. “That thing’s cells were used to create all three of us.  I was the first. A  _ failure.”   _ He chuckles bitterly.  “And Angeal, too. Banished to Banora until we found our way back to Midgar.”  He pushes the Buster Sword aside and steps closer; Zack’s too shocked to hold it steady.  “But you, Sephiroth... _ you _ were the success.  They  _ kept _ you.  Because you were more monster than human.  You were  _ exactly _ what they wanted.”

“Shut up,” Sephiroth says, pushing Zack out of the way.  “You don’t know anything about my mother.”

“Mother?  Sephiroth, your  _ mother _ is a monster fifteen  _ thousand  _ years dead!”  

Sephiroth lunges forward, grabbing Genesis by the neck.  “You’re  _ lying! _ ” He throws him against one of the railings of this level of the reactor.  “You’re lying.”

Genesis forces himself to his feet, his wing dragging along the ground for a moment.  “Fine. If you believe that, then believe it. Keep serving Shinra. Do what you want, but know this: the  _ truth  _ is as dark as I’m saying it is.  You can find it, if you dare.”

With that, he turns away, flapping his wing so that he rises up toward the top of the reactor, out of sight.

Zack turns to Sephiroth, who is staring upward.  “Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth blinks, then looks at him, looking more vulnerable than Zack’s ever seen him.  “We —“ he pauses, taking a deep breath. “We need to go back to the manor.”

“R-right,” Zack says.  “Okay. Then, uh, let’s go?”

He’s never felt more shaken in his life.

 

* * *

 

Zack won’t leave the manor.

Sephiroth doesn’t know why he stays.  Sephiroth has holed up here, digging through every record he can find about the Jenova Project, though he can’t help but believe, to some degree, what Genesis told him.

After all, why would Genesis lie?  That’s the thing that digs its way into his gut and nests there.  

Genesis has been dealing with this for  _ so  _ long.  Genesis wouldn’t lie about it.

Would he?

What would it gain him?  Does he think that Sephiroth would help him burn Shinra down?  Is that what he wants?

“Hey,” comes Zack’s voice from the doorway.  “Seph?”

His train of thought interrupted, Sephiroth looks up.  Zack is leaning against the doorframe, looking at him with worry in his eyes.  

“What?”

“You need to eat something.”  Zack lifts up a sandwich. “Cloud brought some stuff over, and you should eat.”

Sephiroth shakes his head.  “I’m not hungry.”

Zack steps into the basement library.  “That’s what you said this morning. And last night.  And every meal for like, the last three days. You’re gonna eat this sandwich.”

“No.  I’m not hungry.”

Zack comes closer, shifting so that he can sit on the corner of the desk Sephiroth is seated at.  “At least...lemme fix your hair?”

He sounds...sad, and Sephiroth can’t take this, not anymore.  He narrows his eyes. “Why are you  _ doing _ this, Zack?  You heard what Genesis said.  You know what he thinks I am. What it seems like I am.”

“Because that can’t be  _ all  _ you are,” Zack says softly, and reaches out, running his fingers through Sephiroth’s hair.  

Sephiroth’s hand snaps up and wraps tight around Zack’s wrist.  “Stop.”

“Why?” Zack asks, and it looks like he’s exhausted.  “Why are you doing this to yourself? Genesis doesn’t get to decide who you are, Sephiroth.  Even if all this shit about Jenova is true. You’re  _ better _ than this.”

“Am I, Zack?  Am I really?” He tosses Zack’s hand aside and stands.  “If I’m a monster, does anything else matter?”

“Something should,” Zack says, shoving him a little.  “Because I  _ know  _ you, Sephiroth.  Maybe not as long as Genesis or Angeal did, but I know you  _ now _ , and I think — I think that should mean  _ something. _ ”  

Sephiroth shoves Zack in turn.  “I can’t believe that, Zack. I just...I can’t.”

If he lets Zack in now, isn’t that hitching Zack’s fate to a monster?  And that,  _ that’s  _ something he just cannot bear to do.

Zack’s face crumples.  “I can’t keep letting you do this, Sephiroth.  You’re — don’t you get it? This hurts me, too.  You, driving yourself into the ground over this...you’re not eating, you’re not sleeping, and you’re just...I can’t handle this anymore.”

“Then go.”  It’s that simple.  It has to be.

“I can’t do that either.”  Zack stalks back up to him, grabbing him by the straps of his coat.  “You’re gonna have to  _ make _ me leave.”  There’s fire in his eyes now, even as he still looks distraught.

Sephiroth doesn’t want to do this, but, in the end, it seems like this is the only way.  He grabs Zack’s wrists and forces him to let go; then, in the same movement, he shifts his grip and flings Zack to the side, sending him skidding across the desk and toward the doorway.

Zack gets to his feet, hands curling into fists, and he lunges back toward Sephiroth.

 

* * *

 

 

He hates this.  He absolutely  _ hates _ it.

But if he literally has to fight for the right to stay at Sephiroth’s side, then he’s going to do it.  Sephiroth means too much to him; he thinks that even if they weren’t soul mates, he’d still be doing this.

Sephiroth grabs him again and throws him — it seems like his whole strategy is to try and eventually get him out of the house.

Zack’s strategy is maybe a little more...punchy...than that.  

If he can knock Sephiroth out, he can at least make sure he sleeps, after all.

He tries to land a punch to Sephiroth’s jaw, but misses, and Sephiroth shoves him back again.  He’s at the doorway of the little library now, and he slots his heel against the doorframe to steady himself.  He punches Sephiroth in the gut, and this punch lands.

Something shifts in Sephiroth’s face, and before Zack can even really register that, there’s a knife in his side, and he gasps.

Sephiroth stops, immediately, and drops the small knife he’d been carrying.

“Zack — I —“  He steps back, looking suddenly crushed.

“It’s not, Sephiroth, it’s just a scrape, I’ll be fine.”  Zack shifts toward him, his hand pressing against the wound.  It’s a cut, and he doesn’t think it’s all that bad.

But Sephiroth’s face darkens, inexplicably, and he lunges at Zack again.

Okay, well,  _ that’s _ going to have to be dealt with.  

 

* * *

 

It’s exactly what Genesis said, that day in the training room, the day that precipitated all of this.

_ It’s just a scrape.  I’ll be fine. _

He did that.  He did  _ this _ , too, because he’s a monster, a danger to his friends, a danger to his  _ soulmate. _  He’s a monster, and Zack deserves to be free of him.

But Zack keeps going, keeps fighting, even hurt.  He keeps trying.

And Sephiroth is so, so tired.  He’s so tired of this, of his birthright, of Shinra, of Genesis, of  _ hurting _ people.

Zack keeps coming, and another punch to the gut catches Sephiroth off guard, and he staggers back.  He hits the wall, not having realized they crossed the room again, and, well...he gives up.

He slides to the floor, his face screwing up in anguish.

Zack hits his knees in front of him, and Sephiroth can’t help it; he curls his hands into the harness for Zack’s pauldrons and looks up at him.

“Zack, Zack...I’m sorry.”

Zack nods, and he looks exhausted.  “I know. I’m sorry, too.”

“It’s not your fault,” Sephiroth breathes.  “It’s not. It’s all my fault. You’re...you’re trapped with a monster, Zack.”

 

* * *

 

It’s heartbreaking, to hear Sephiroth talking like this, and Zack presses closer to him as a result.  “Sephiroth…”

“Please don’t,” Sephiroth murmurs raggedly.

“I’m not trapped.”  Zack reaches for his hand.  “I’m here because I want to be.”

Sephiroth’s hand is limp in his.  “You can’t…”

Zack shakes his head.  “I can, and I am. Seph...I’d be here, even if we weren’t…” He can’t say it out loud.  Even as much as Sephiroth just implied that he knows, Zack can’t be the one to say it out loud.  “I love you, y’know.”

Sephiroth stares at him, blinking, and his eyes look shiny with unshed tears.  “Zack, you...even after this?”

“Yeah.  I’ve loved you at least as long as I’ve been braiding your hair.”  He reaches out with his free hand, pulling it away from his side — he’s already stopped bleeding, for the most part — and tucks some of Sephiroth’s hair behind his ear.

Sephiroth’s other hand comes up and gently catches Zack’s.  “Promise me you’ll stop me, if I turn into a monster?”

“Of course,” Zack murmurs.  “But I know you won’t.”

Sephiroth shakes his head, but lets out a little chuckle.  “You can’t know that.”

“Still.  I do.” He leans against Sephiroth’s shoulder, yawning a little.  “...You wanna go back upstairs? I’m pretty tired, so I’ll bet you’re exhausted.”

Sephiroth smiles, just a little.  “Yes. Yes. I think we should.”

And so they do.

  
  
  



End file.
